Season 1
13 episodes · 2001
1Christmas
JP believes it is Christmas in the middle of March, and so to humour him, the other Pets decide to hold the event. Unfortunately, disaster strikes when the house is invaded by burglars.
2Pregnant
After a wild party, a hungover Hamish is told by JP and Trevor that he had sex with Davina while he was drunk, and three months later it is revealed that she is pregnant.
3Pleasure
Trevor has an unreachable itch on his back, which the other Pets refuse to scratch. Frustrated, he decides to use an unconventional method to get rid of it that leaves one of the Pets suffering from a nervous breakdown.
4American Beauty
Hamish discovers that Trevor has placed a poor bet in his name with money borrowed from a violent, psychopathic criminal who expects to be payed back. Terrified, Hamish begins many failed attempts to commit suicide before the moneylender arrives.
5On Hold
Hamish finds himself being held in an excessively long queue on the phone in his attempt to make a call.
6Consider Yourself
In a parody of Sherlock Holmes, Trevor tells JP the story of his Victorian ancestor; a detective who discovered the identity of Jack The Ripper.
7The Miracle
When an archangel unblocks the downstairs toilet, Hamish insists the house become religious as an act of respect.
8Conspiracy Theory
While watching a television documentary about John F. Kennedy, the Pets' power supply is cut off. Cue a flashback to the 1960s, featuring relations of the Pets on holiday in a house identical to the modern day version in Dallas, who witness the president's assassination and attempt to discover the identity of the perpetrator.
9Constipation
After suffering from constipation for fourteen months, Hamish reluctantly tries Trevor's suggestion of eating a pair of tights in order to cure himself.
10Death
Trevor dies after choking on a fishbone. Later, however, all of the other Pets are able to see him as a ghost.
11Halloween
JP holds a Halloween party in the living room. Meanwhile, Hamish attempts to cryogenically freeze himself, in order to awaken in the future.
12Hostage
Hamish goes over the edge and holds JP hostage, much to the bewilderment of Davina and Trevor, who are forced to negotiate with him.
13Moneyfinale
When Trevor finds a suitcase full of money under the floorboards, he and Hamish conspire to kill Davina and JP and keep the money for themselves. However, both begin plotting to also double-cross each other.