Skinner's Stew from The Simpsons

While Seymour Skinner's tour in Vietnam sounds a bit cushy, there's no doubt that he's dutifully served our country - more so by even trying to get Bart Simpson through middle school. As the cold weather makes its final offense, indulge in the 4-rice 2-seafood stew of Skinner's shellshocked memory - or cram some neon-colored cheese into a sandwich and pretend you're Ralph Wiggum.